Is Fear Holding You Back? – Zen Life

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Is fear holding you back from reaching your acting goals? Jessica shares with you how to recognize it and let it go.

Setting goals and achieving goals are affected by fear. But, what is fear anyways? Fear causes adrenaline to surge through the body. It gives the fight or flight response. If you were to get into a fight, swerve out of the way of a car wreck, or have a grizzly approach you while camping, fear and the fight or flight response would be instinctual and necessary. However, when we talk about fear regarding personal and business goals, as well as health and relationship goals, what kind of fear are we really expressing? Is it even fear or is it self-hatred?

When you think about wanting to lose weight, does it make your adrenaline rush; does it set in motion the fight or flight response? Probably not. How about when you daydream about earning more money, or being in a loving relationship? Do you feel the intensity of adrenaline pumping through your body? Again, I would bet not, so what we are really talking about is self-hatred. I know it’s tough to swallow, but it’s the truth.

If you are having a difficult time setting and reaching goals, you are blocked, and you need to get real with the blocks that are slowing and halting your success and happiness. It is not fear holding you back, but rather issues including insecurities, anger, imbalances, overindulgence, procrastination, and lack of the skill set needed to reach your goal.

How do you express self-hatred, and instead blame fear? Here are a few examples:

  1. “Turning out like…” someone you know whether it is health, relationship, or money-related
  2. Anger
  3. Anxiety
  4. Argumentative
  5. Binge eating, unhealthy eating, overeating
  6. Bitterness
  7. Blaming
  8. Controlling others
  9. Defensiveness
  10. Depression
  11. Drug abuse
  12. Insomnia
  13. Lack of skill sets
  14. Letting others control you
  15. Not having enough money to make ends meet or move forward in life to bigger goals
  16. Overuse of alcohol
  17. Phobias
  18. Procrastination and/ or resistance to work, relationship, health, etc.
  19. Reliving old memories, baggage
  20. Sadness

These are just some of the ways expressing self-hatred is cloaked as fear. Self-hatred, if you allow it to, will permanently root itself in your mind and body, oozing out everywhere. Weight gain, loss of jobs, illness, or loss of relationships is or can be an effect of not accepting who you are and loving yourself. Would you keep a diseased and weak tree in your front yard, or would you remove it and cut out the roots? You have to remove the roots of self-hatred. As you let go of what is blocking you, you will create weight loss, better health, more loving and true relationships with family and friends, a better work environment, and/or more financial gain.

Letting self-hatred leave the mind and body and become replaced by love and abundance is a miracle in itself. Love needs to start with loving yourself and being in alignment with your values, skills, and talents. You need to get back to the truth of who you are, and naturally your body and desires will respond. When that transformation begins, you will have set the positive motion forward to living a healthy, successful, and positive life. You can control, heal, and overcome anything that is blocking you to your well-being and success. You do not have to cave into the popular mindset of negativity. Negativity and self-hatred is destructive, crazy, and produces disease. It penetrates many people’s lives, governments, and businesses. However, you do not have to live a blocked life.

The first step to discovering your own self-love and self-worth is to take time to discover what your values and passions are. What makes your heart sing? What makes you want to get up out of bed and live? What will you not settle for? What do you hate, and what do you love? Start defining who you are and be specific.


Jessica Allison is a work at home mom, fine art photographer, makeup and skin care enthusiast, and lover of history and the outdoors. Check her out at or

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Last modified: December 4, 2017

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